LIFE STORY

I once wrote about the bits and pieces of my life, bathed in tears and blood, and as broken as my spirit. I told my story in many ways, hoping I could pick up the fragments and make myself whole again. When I finally got back up, after I had intensely bled, my writings about pain and its aftermath miraculously stopped. Not wanting to look back and start a cycle, I burned them all, with a firm resolve to rewrite my life story.

My life came full circle, and I didn’t understand how or why I was writing from a totally different vantage. It started with that single moment when I wanted to give up the fight, after too long a time of being brave alone. That was one moment of weakness when I could no longer hold on to my might. I finally broke down, and in that moment of aloneness, I have been blessed. I have opened myself to God’s blessings.

I saw the light. I dared trusting again, abandoning myself to him who patiently repaired my brokenness. My life was a farce, and I could afford to lose it without cost. But I didn’t have the heart to break another soul, especially his, who had been so tender and peaceful. He braved my world, totally opposed to his. He showed me I deserve to be here. He brought out the best in me even as he had seen my worst.

Slowly, I was seeing another me. My strength was different. I was starting to achieve, this time propelled by a new found confidence, no longer by pain and the desire to subdue. I was actually making it on my own. I have moved on. I chose to become a better person. I have gone through hell and high waters and made it. Trials still came, but I welcomed them knowing I have gained the wisdom of many years.

Now, I still write – about many things—no longer to attempt rebuilding myself, neither to start a new chapter in my life. I write to record my life’s events, and one day to sort life’s lesson made more valuable by time.