OPPOSITE POLES

Over the last 12 years, I don’t ever recall any big fight or argument with my husband.  Well, except for the two trivial bickerings – not even two-way, as I remember having delivered a multi-lingual declamation piece, instead.   The first time, I acted like any other young wife – impulsively shrieking at his inability to comply with an unwritten code on curfew.  I learned a lesson the hard way:  my own family, mother included, would have picked him over me.  That was insane but, who wouldn’t love a man like that?  The second brought both of us to tears.  I cannot tell how I did that (It’s a trade secret!).  But another lesson learned:  I couldn’t bear to see the one I love most, and who loves me best, shed tears for my sake.  That’s devastating!  And so, after learning all these –tough ones, to my mind – I resolved to never hurt him again ever or else I hurt myself more.  I love him too much – that is beyond question. 

Perhaps, I have loved my new roles – a wife and a mother – that I never again had any issues with marriage and family.  Or maybe, it is true what they say, I am lucky to have such a man for a husband.  People say we are perfect for each other.  Two entirely different, nearly opposite poles attracting each other and meeting halfway – both in mind and spirit.  At least, that is what people say, and that is what we both live with.  Whether such is a blessing or a curse remains to be tested.  But at this point, we are both certain, that our love for each other – more than our inherent communication skills – verbal and non-verbal -- will see us through. 

At times, I also wonder whether we have apprehensions we don’t talk about – because we both assume we are too intelligent to understand.  I suppose, we both see each other as faultless, and we don’t want to talk about faults.  But I am not faultless – that I am so sure about.  Perhaps, he is.  I have minor concerns I want to talk about, questions I want to ask, worries I need to express.  Only, I know the responses to my concerns, I know the answers to my questions and I know how to resolve my own worries.  So why talk about them and bother him?  That is a predicament I have to contend with.  That is my lot.  For his part, I really do not know.  He does not really say much.  That is how I learned to read minds.  I have learned to decode his vocalics & kinesics. 

And so the other night, his retort astounded me.  It’s not such a strange phenomenon.  Any wife might not have noticed it even.  Any wife would have dismissed that.  Unfortunately, I am not just any wife.  When his voice registered a higher pitch, and a faster duration, and was more flexible than usual – it gave me the signal.  What was that?  Of course, it was my fault – whose would it else be?  I just couldn’t help being me – so irritating, with my childish stance – but, hey –I’ve been like that all my life.  It was the shortest fight ever in history I guess, not more than a minute, as after I uttered my wisecrack in straight English – we both kept quiet. 

He said sorry, later –  it’s  always like that --later, when I have kept my cool or else I’ll write a book of never before heard conversation beginners, enders and rejoinders in cathartic and phatic language! He never explained his apology.  I didn’t ask why, either.  It’s over, anyway.  I am not the type to go into the details and waste time over anything as trivial as that.  Though that one earned for me a whole body massage for an hour, it kept me wondering what was that about?  It was nothing, I guess – I don’t over think, I don’t over analyze – this has what kept the marriage sound and smooth and loving and perfect.  But on second thought, is it so? Come what may:  our love will defy both heaven and hell.