Over the last 12 years, I don’t ever recall any big fight or argument with my husband. Well, except for the two trivial bickerings – not even two-way, as I remember having delivered a multi-lingual declamation piece, instead. The first time, I acted like any other young wife – impulsively shrieking at his inability to comply with an unwritten code on curfew. I learned a lesson the hard way: my own family, mother included, would have picked him over me. That was insane but, who wouldn’t love a man like that? The second brought both of us to tears. I cannot tell how I did that (It’s a trade secret!). But another lesson learned: I couldn’t bear to see the one I love most, and who loves me best, shed tears for my sake. That’s devastating! And so, after learning all these –tough ones, to my mind – I resolved to never hurt him again ever or else I hurt myself more. I love him too much – that is beyond question.
Perhaps, I have loved my new roles – a wife and a mother – that I never again had any issues with marriage and family. Or maybe, it is true what they say, I am lucky to have such a man for a husband. People say we are perfect for each other. Two entirely different, nearly opposite poles attracting each other and meeting halfway – both in mind and spirit. At least, that is what people say, and that is what we both live with. Whether such is a blessing or a curse remains to be tested. But at this point, we are both certain, that our love for each other – more than our inherent communication skills – verbal and non-verbal -- will see us through.
At times, I also wonder whether we have apprehensions we don’t talk about – because we both assume we are too intelligent to understand. I suppose, we both see each other as faultless, and we don’t want to talk about faults. But I am not faultless – that I am so sure about. Perhaps, he is. I have minor concerns I want to talk about, questions I want to ask, worries I need to express. Only, I know the responses to my concerns, I know the answers to my questions and I know how to resolve my own worries. So why talk about them and bother him? That is a predicament I have to contend with. That is my lot. For his part, I really do not know. He does not really say much. That is how I learned to read minds. I have learned to decode his vocalics & kinesics.
And so the other night, his retort astounded me. It’s not such a strange phenomenon. Any wife might not have noticed it even. Any wife would have dismissed that. Unfortunately, I am not just any wife. When his voice registered a higher pitch, and a faster duration, and was more flexible than usual – it gave me the signal. What was that? Of course, it was my fault – whose would it else be? I just couldn’t help being me – so irritating, with my childish stance – but, hey –I’ve been like that all my life. It was the shortest fight ever in history I guess, not more than a minute, as after I uttered my wisecrack in straight English – we both kept quiet.
He said sorry, later – it’s always like that --later, when I have kept my cool or else I’ll write a book of never before heard conversation beginners, enders and rejoinders in cathartic and phatic language! He never explained his apology. I didn’t ask why, either. It’s over, anyway. I am not the type to go into the details and waste time over anything as trivial as that. Though that one earned for me a whole body massage for an hour, it kept me wondering what was that about? It was nothing, I guess – I don’t over think, I don’t over analyze – this has what kept the marriage sound and smooth and loving and perfect. But on second thought, is it so? Come what may: our love will defy both heaven and hell.