I am not really the materialistic type -- I have few needs, to say the least. I love things that money can buy, but I value more those that money can't. But often, whenever i get the chance to reflect, like now -- I start weighing my options, even go to the length of comparing myself to others. Not that I am dissatified with where I am and with what I've got -- far from that. After all, i also enjoy the nobility of my profession and the glory of my position. I have achieved in a few years what others achieved all their life. Only, when i see others so much more financially affluent than i am -- when I really feel I have so much more talent and i work thrice as hard -- I ask: What have I got? I am still human. Sometimes, i feel i deserve more because I give more.
So, I toy with the idea of leaving everything behind -- all that I have worked for, family included -- for that one shot deal that might be life-changing. But whenever I see chances unfold, i am left with the same question. What have I got? But more than that i ask: What matters to me more? Am I ready to give up the comfortable, stable, safe -- albeit, simple and laidback -- life, that my husband and I created for our children? Will I be able to compensate time lost and love wasted with all the nice things the world offers? Worse, will I survive the cruelty of the world out there?
I am torn.